I’m not sure about you, but over the years when I have had hard seasons and find myself in a very overwhelmed state, I wonder if anyone even notices that I am drowning. I wonder why they haven’t noticed how stressed I am, why they haven’t checked in with me, why they haven’t offered some help or at least some encouragement. But then I remind myself: it is not that no one cares, it is more likely that they are just keeping their own heads above water, lost in their own overwhelmed state. More than that, perhaps they themselves are in the same state of overwhelm and are wondering if I indeed care about them?
So many of us are too stressed.
Life is hard.
The juggle seems impossible.
It can be so isolating, feeling alone in all that stress.
But there are some who seem to be able to cut through all that. Who have a sixth sense about where people in their world are up to. I’m talking about intuitive people.
Intuitive friends are amazing people to have in your life. They’re the ones that know what you need without you asking for it.
People that know what your tipping points are—the unique things that will be your undoing even though it wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else. People that know the unique way your needs are met;
How to fill your cup;
Lift your burdens;
People, in other words, who know and understand YOU.
I have had times when beautiful people in my life have said, ‘let me know if I can help.’ ‘Please call if you need something.’ I have also been that person to others at times. And it is genuine; I really do want to be able to help as I am sure they do. The problem, however, is that if I am stressed, strung out, and overwhelmed with life, I don’t have the mindfulness to think about what I need let alone what others need. That sort of awareness takes time and energy that I simply don’t have.
Sometimes it is Pride that gets in the way of me receiving support. Because while I do want that ever growing mountain of laundry dealt with, I also don’t want just anyone sorting through my families underwear, and God forbid they might muck up the system. Or if just an hour to myself is what I need, the process of coordinating a calender with someone is just going to make me feel like an inconvenience.
So yes I need to also be better at receiving. Still, intuitive relationships are generally also safe places to be in need.
I have been blessed with friends over the years that are more intuitive than others. I also have a wonderful husband that knows me well. There are people in my life that know when I am stressed because they recognize my triggers. They know how to lift the burden and to help me feel lighter. They don’t have to wait for instruction, they are already on it. There have been people like this that have come into my life for a short time. There are also others have that have done the journey over the years. There are of course also times when I feel I have no one that understands me. But I am grateful for those that do.
So, at this point you might be thinking, ‘Um, yes, so where are these unicorn people? Where do I find them?’ Can I suggest that maybe the first step to finding one is to
Take notice of people, learn about them. When we lift our gaze up from the oceans of our own anxiety we start noticing those around us. I wonder if sometimes we attract intuitive people by being intuitive? Or maybe it just gives people permission or inspiration to do so?
I appreciate, however, that for some of us this is just not possible. You do not have anything to give, you are just surviving. For you, the best thing you can do is position yourself in a supportive environment, surrounded by people who care and can help. For your season, you need to take care of you. This is so important.
But for some of us, there is a transformational power that comes with helping others. There is a joy and immense satisfaction that comes with lifting somebody else up—it really does warm and nourish the soul. It’s the feeling that comes with feeling useful. What if we all became the intuitive friend that we wished we had? I wonder what would become of our relationships?
So, a few thoughts:
Could you look up from your all-consuming, inner headspace for a moment and think about the people in your world? Do they look like they could do with a bit of support and encouragement? Are you in a position to give it? A text, a letter, a card, a gesture of some kind?
Could you perhaps take it one step further and discover what would genuinely help them? A meal, babysitting, turning up with bread, milk, and coffee? Maybe just an affirmation that you know would mean the world to them.
What I’m talking about is more than just an open ended, ‘let me know if I can help.’ It’s, ‘this is what I am going to do, when would it suit you?’ Book it in, follow it up, make it happen. Graciously, respectfully, and intuitively.
Could you invite people into your world a little bit more? Let people get to know you a bit more? Behind the mask, the real you, vulnerable and everything. In doing this, you give them the opportunity to develop an intuition into what brings you strength and happiness. It might give them an opportunity to feel useful, maybe even bless you. It’s a little bit scary being vulnerable, but maybe entirely worth it. For some reason letting people Bless us can be really difficult hey.
Could you be brave enough to take that first step? Make the approach to that person. They may not look stressed, but I guarantee you that they probably are. They may not look lonely, but they are probably hiding it well.
Wouldn’t it be nice to feel part of a village, a tribe, an extended family? Sometimes we need to take responsibility for positioning ourselves there.
It’s scary, but I do think it’s worth it!